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9 Ways To Tell If You And Your Hubby Have A Healthy Sex Life

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Everywhere you look,everything seems to revolve around one thing: sex.

It makes sense, in a way. Humans are sexual beings, and sex is what makes sure the human race keeps going on. And let’s face it, sex is just a lot of fun!

Many times, though, the media can make us feel inadequate about the sex we’re having… or not having, as the case may be. So much of it can make us insecure about our bodies, our choices, our partners, and the parts of our lives that are really very private.

We can come away from it feeling like we’re doing things all wrong, and that we’re not having the sex lives we’re “supposed” to be having. This can lead to feelings of doubt, confusion, and anxiety.

But don’t worry, there is good news, and that’s the fact that your sex life is probably a lot better than you think it is.

The reality is that for most people, sex and relationships don’t happen like they do in the movies. They’re messier and more complicated, but ultimately so much richer and more fulfilling than anything you might see on screen.

Below, you’ll find nine signs of a healthy sex life, and you may be surprised to see that at least some of them seem familiar. Let us know if they do, and if we’ve missed anything!

What Is A “Healthy” Sex Life, Anyway?

What

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This is a hard question to answer.

Every individual and every relationship is different. Additionally, people will haveneeds that are subject to change based on age, stress levels, and health.

Depending on who’s involved, a “healthy” sex life may vary quite a bit, so there’s no really right answer to this question. However, healthy sexual relationships do have a lot of things in common.

While all relationships are unique, any healthy relationship is based on respect, communication, and love, which leads toeach party feeling heard and safe.

So, what are some signs that your sex life is a good one?

Sign #1: You Feel Good About Your Body

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The University of Texas once did a study that showed that women between 18 and 49 who felt the best about their bodies also had the highest rate of sexual satisfaction.

Obsessing over how your body looks is a surefire way to distract you from sex, but feeling good about yourself means you’ll be able to concentrate on the more enjoyable things while your clothes are off.

Sign #2: You Feel Comfortable Talking About What You Want

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Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

The best sex happens when both parties know exactly what the other wants, and they’re not afraid to let their partner know whatthey want.

You can’t read your partner’s mind, and your partner can’t read yours, so you have to talk!

A sign that something is working is when both partners are not only willing to share their desires, but are also receptive to what the other person has to say, and there’s no feeling of embarrassment or shame.

In fact, if talking about what you want gives you a little thrill, you’redefinitely doing it right!

Sign #3: You Don’t Keep Track

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Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

Focusing on a number isn’t the best way to make an assessment about your sex life.

That’s because there’s no “right” number of times per week, month, or year that you “should” be having sex.

Thinking too much about the number of times you get down can start bringing you down, so try not to think about it.

Sign #4: Sometimes You Schedule It

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Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

We like to think of sex as spontaneous, but life doesn’t always work out that way.

Work, family, and other responsibilities can crowd our schedules, so sometimes you need to schedule in some sexy time.

It doesn’t mean that you’re boring, or that you’re locked into a routine, but rather that you know your sex life is a priority. Like any other priority, you sometimes need to consciously make time for it.

Sign #5: You Don’t Consider Sex A Chore Or A Duty

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Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

If you’re having sex, it should be because you want to and you enjoy it, not because you feel pressured into it or you’re doing it out of “pity.”

Having sex because you feel like you have to turns it into a chore, when it should be a pleasurable and loving activity.

You should have sex because you want to have sex.

Sign #6: You Like To Try New Things

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Getting stuck doing the same thing over and over gets boring. That’s true for anything, and it’s true for sex, too.

Happy couples know that variety is the spice of life, and that means switching things up occasionally.

What exact changes you decide to make are up to you and your partner. As we said in #2, communication is key.

Who knows? You might find something great!

Sign #7: You Don’t Feel Bad Saying No Sometimes

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Mo matter how much you love your partner and how happy you are in your relationship, sometimes you’re just not in the mood and that’s OK. Health issues, stress, and tiredness can all kill your libido from time to time.

It’s also OK to say that to your partner. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.

In fact, the less of a deal you make it, the less of a deal your partner will think it is, too.

Sign #8: A Little Dry Spell Doesn’t Bother You

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Life sometimes really does get in the way, and for whatever reason, you might find that your sex life occasionally takes a break.

Sexual energy will fluctuate throughout any relationship,and that’s normal.

Putting an expectation on how much sex you’re “supposed” to be having, like counting the number of times you’re having it, creates worry and tension where there doesn’t have to be any.

If you find that the dry spell is lasting avery long time, it may be time to talk about it. However, it’s probably not a big deal if you go a week or two without action.

Sign #9: You’re Feeling Good And Having Fun

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The best sign of a healthy sex life? You’re enjoying it!

Let’s be real: When it’s done correctly and with the right person, sex is pretty awesome.

If it helps you feel less stressed and closer to your partner while adding joy to your life, then you’re doing something right.

No matter your age, what you look like, or what kind of relationship you have, your sex life deserves to be a good one. Talk to your partner, cultivate mutual respect and love, and most of all, have a great time!

SHARE these signs of a healthy sex life with anyone who might be wondering about this topic!

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