Husband Pens His Own Obituary And Confesses To A Lifetime Of Lies, Crime, And Fraud

By  | 

Val Patterson decided to pen his own obituary. The husband from Utah succumbed to his battle with throat cancer and decided to use his final words in the Salt Lake Tribune to confess to a lifetime oflies.

As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest, hewrote. In the obituary, he also confessed to ruining a park ranger’s geyser.

Most notably, Patterson confessed that his career credentials were completely fraudulent!

I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didnt even graduate, I only had about three years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters PhD even stood for.

The 59-year-old’s confession went viral. People found his confessions hilarious, perhaps because they reveal the messiness of a life well lived. The toughest part of Patterson’s obituary arethe kind words he left about his beloved wife Mary Jane.

“The one special thing that made my spirit whole, is my long love and friendship with my remarkable wife, my beloved Mary Jane. I loved her more than I have words to express,” he said.

When asked, Mary Jane admitted that the confessions were all 100 percent true!

To see more about Patterson’s unusual obituary, watch the video below.

Please SHARE if this husband’s confession made you chuckle a bit!

We use cookies to give you the best online experience. By agreeing you accept the use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.

Privacy Settings saved!
Privacy Settings

When you visit any web site, it may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Control your personal Cookie Services here.

We use Google Tag Manager to monitor our traffic and to help us AB test new features.

Decline all Services
Accept all Services